I realize how much pressure
I push into hope, the burdens
I set on her shoulders, her arms
full of my struggles and unsaid
words. I realize how much credit
I give doubt, I made his bed and
showed him where the bathroom
was and told him what time dinner
would take place, making sure he
The one place that gave her an escape from the world, became the one place she wanted to escape from.
February grew cold, colder than normal. Days were being counted down. Weight was being monitored. And talent was being judged.
She never knew what the day would bring. Would she decide to starve herself that day or binge eat until she found comfort. Would she be in the back unnoticed or would she finally shine in the front. One thing was certain that the mirror she looked in everyday grew harsh and lonely.
The most upsetting thing was that without an ounce of care or hope, she handed her dream over to what was once her family. Everyone knew she was stranded in her mind, but without a sound, they looked the other way.
Her stubborn nature killed her biggest dream. And her biggest dream became her worst nightmare. What was once the brightest place on earth became the darkest place in her mind.
A reply to my poem Roses
It was apparent. Not only were the scars the only thing defining her. It was beyond the appearance, the damage inside was worse than the outside. The scars outside on the skin were less painful than the scars that appeared on her heart. And those scars on her heart only were fading, but never to lose. She covered it up with a smile, only with the hope of becoming everything she knew she’d never be.
Im a fighter
—"After all that you put me through,
You think I’d despise you,
But in the end I wanna thank you,
'Cause you've made me that much stronger
Well I thought I knew you, thinkin’ that you were true
Guess I, I couldn’t trust called your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were there by my side, always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames ‘cause your greed sold me out in shame
After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you
But uh uh, oh no, you’re wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you” ~Christina Aguilera